Sunday, 7 October 2012


She sat on the bench alone. She's not like the rest of other girls, she eats pizza while others eat glitter, she drinks coffee and cola while others drink acid. she doesn't know what makes her different. Every girl in her school didn't want to make friends with her, every boy ignored her, and the world seemed to hate her as much as those people did.

"why are you so ugly?" asked a girl who had just approached the bench where she was sitting.
"i'm not! i'm beautiful. mom told me so!" she cried, as she ran away to the janitor room.

*knock! knock!*
"it's already late, sweetie. You shouldn't be here"the teacher said.
"but i don't want to be mocked anymore"the girl replied.
"it's okay. they all have gone home"her teacher tried to calm her down. and then the girl walked out of the janitor room. the shadow that covered her before has gone. the light was on.

"why are you so ..." before her teacher could finnish her question, the girl answered "i have adipose cancer and i can't get through a day without being injected with some hormones or else i can be dead. and those hormones make me fat. You couldn't even see my face, could you? i wish they didn't see me as a monster, i wish i wasn't considered as ugly, different, handicap, or whatsoever"

and then the teacher, after she heard the sob story of the girl, stabbed her in the heart to release her pain because the teacher is a really nice person she's like an angel and she's idiotic.


Saturday, 6 October 2012


On a hilltop at sunset, they danced one last time. High clouds burned crimson and chromium, and she sang to him:
o this is the guillotine, and this is the knife
this is for murder, this is for life
He whirled her like a dervish, spinning her about and about, watching her dark hair mask her face like a funeral veil.
so come, hangman, tie up your noose
my lover is here, waiting for you
He dipped her low, kissed her carmine lips, then lifted her into the sky. She laughed with delight, and he couldn't remember the last time she'd sounded so happy.
we dance on the hill, we prance through the heath
we eat, drink and are merry, till we're all out of breath
And the music ended, and the first stars appeared in the eastern firmament. He bowed to her, both of them dripping sweat from their hair. Her smile was inscrutable.
"It's time, isn't it," he said.
"It is," she said. "Time to wake up."
He woke, and the bed was empty, and once more he was a widower.
He put on his ring and faced the day.

Wednesday, 27 June 2012


I went on a kind of farewell trip to Tidung with amazing people yesterday on 25-26 june, i don't really want to call it a farewell tho :| i hope i can have another trip like that again with them.

We went to Tidung by uhm.....a quirky boat, i don't even know what the name is, but it's odd. So odd that i couldn't even describe. -_-

We went there for only 2 days and 1 night, that was not enough, i suppose we could've had lot more fun than that :(

DAY 1:
As soon as we arrived at Tidung, we went straight to our "homestay" which happened to be a "posyandu"-_-
Despite of that, this house is quite good. It has two AC and two bedrooms, and some beds in the living room. But i couldn't stand the pillows, they're so firm i could barely sleeping on them. Blah

After we had some rest, we went snorkeling! whoop!


it's really just me who can't tell you any further because i'm currently sick, and i'm dizzy. But we had fun indeed.. :--)

Friday, 22 June 2012

Time flies without you even realize

I live by that sentence.

I'm entering my last year of high school.
and i'm like WOOOOOOOOOOOW, my school year is almost over, really?
Holy cow, i haven't even turned 17 yet. It's such a BIG deal for me, at least for now because most of my friends have turned 17 and they've thrown such great 17th birthday parties, you could say that i envy them, well, i do.

i was born on 1996, september the 15th. ( take a note of that :p )

I've been blessed by these people that God has sent me to through this tough year along with, and i'm happy with that. my classmates at this 2nd grade are the best! XI Science D *hugs*

back to my main topic..
I just don't believe that i SURVIVED.

I had been bullied 
I had been left out
I had been ditched
I had been stabbed

tho those are painful to me, at last i can say..

only one year left until i finish high school! i'm really excited woohooo!
let's just see if all of my efforts in this 3-year-torture will be paid-off :)

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Here we go again...

It's kinda funny how things change...

Even my reflection in the mirror has changed.

I'm wearing headscarf now, the reason behind why i put that on humiliates me--i almost got raped. Yep, you did not misread it. 

I don't wanna talk about that accident, i have even gotten it all over with looong time ago. hehe...

I suppose i've been redesigned by a powerful thing somehow. It has strengthened me.

And now, here i am, with the new me, trying to rebuild the ruins that those shitty things have made, i'm currently fixing some things, because i know i can and i know i have to.

"I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now"

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